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Striving For Success Blog

Based in Kansas City, Missouri and Serving Individuals Nationwide

It's their Pandemic Too !!! Seeing It through Your Child's Eyes: Validating and Supporting their Feelings.

Posted on January 27, 2021 at 5:15 PM

ParentCamp Round Table - Topics Covered

What is Happening- Why Can't I- Keep It Simple- Understanding and Sharing Your Emotions

  • Explaining
  • Listening
  • Reminding
  • Doing
  • Dropping all the Balls
  • Lower Your Expectations
  • This too Shall Pass
  • It's Fine

Categories: Training, Feelings, Behavior

Build Training and Development Programs with the Brain in mind!

Posted on September 7, 2016 at 9:21 PM

Each year, billions of dollars are spent on employee development, yet 62% of businesses report that they are without the skills they need to grow and succeed. It was estimated by the American Society for Training and Development that U.S. organizations spent nearly $78.61 billion on the internal learning function, and the remainder ($47.27 billion) was allocated to external services.

Despite employees attending training sessions in record numbers, these reports also indicate that those billions do not always improve the workplace because the skills often do not transfer to the actual job. When staff members fail to apply what they were meant to learn, organizational leaders are frustrated by the obvious ineffectiveness of these
costly training initiatives.

Although leaders in organizations want to develop their people and are willing to invest in them, they are puzzled when employees do things the same way as before their training. In addition, leaders and employees who want to develop are frustrated when they cannot use what they have learned during their training.

Our research shows that more time is spent considering workshop content than whether employees will be able to implement new learning once the training is over. Although most leaders believe that once you learn something you should change your behavior, development requires the conscious application and repetition of new skills over time.

It also requires that any emotional barriers to learning are addressed. In addition, how we feel about our learning experiences and our ability to keep using new skills when we feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to try are key factors to the success of learning.

Few trainers and educators understand how the brain develops and what it actually takes to create new habits of mind. Often it includes changing emotionally driven behaviors and unconscious habits of mind that get in the way of development and behavioral change. Although we love to learn about how to improve and develop ourselves, taking in such information is a passive activity, and actually changing our behavior is an experiential one. Based on an integration of the latest findings in brain development and century-old personality type theory, we now understand that these two activities are governed by different areas of the brain.

As humans, we are meant to develop. However, we are likely to continue to waste billions annually when we do not expect those tasked with our development to understand the mechanics of our mind, how our brains develop, and how emotions get in the way of the successful implementation of new learning. By looking at some common beliefs about training, you are better prepared to set up the circumstances for sustainable development to happen.

Employee and leadership development programs should be thought of as personal because employees are–first and foremost–persons. Performance and capability are ultimately dependent not only on what people know and can do, but also on how they feel, their attitudes, their levels of emotional maturity, and their psychological needs. The personality of the employee and how his or her brain is wired affect how the employee will engage in the learning process.

Finally, programs need to change from cognitive- and information-driven approaches in a workshop or training session to ongoing, experiential learning activities that engage the emotions of the employees positively in various settings, including the workplace. If these critical pieces are left out of training and development efforts, organizational leaders will continue to be frustrated and workers are unlikely to reach their full potential. And the loss of potential translates to losses for the bottom line.

As former General Electric CEO Jack Welch once declared, “If you’re not thinking all the time about making every person more valuable, you don’t have a chance. What’s the alternative? Wasted minds? Uninvolved people? A labor force that’s angry or bored? That doesn’t make sense.”

Categories: Awareness, Brain, Development, Emotions, Experience, Leadership, Management, Programs, Training

Avoidant Leader

Posted on January 26, 2016 at 4:29 PM

Have you ever experienced the frustration of trying to get things done with a leader who avoids making decisions and getting involved? Or a leader who regularly tolerates poor performance?

Indecisive or, as we like to call them, Avoidant Leaders are focused on productivity and the needs of the business. They are self-directed, highly functional, and independent. They know what they want to achieve and do extremely well when working on their own. They can be in a senior role in an organization or are a successful entrepreneur.

Yet with all their success, the Avoidant Leader tends to abdicate authority to others and avoids making decisions.

They don’t get involved with their employees unless they have to and will work behind a closed door. They may present an attitude that says “I am so busy, don’t bother me” or meet employee requests with annoyance in their voice. They don’t realize that their failure to address underperformance issues alienates high performers while their fear of making wrong decisions impedes those who are dependent on their leadership.

So how do you survive this dysfunctional leadership style? Here are 3 helpful tips:

Don’t react to their behavior. Strong emotional reactions will cause
Avoidant Leaders to withdraw further so respond, don’t react.

Make the Cost of Avoidance clear. Step into his shoes and try to understand what he or she really cares about. That way you can show that what he wants to accomplish is at risk.

Ask for what you need. Ask for what you need and avoid harshly detailing what's wrong with them in doing so.

This post was co-written by Anne Dranitsaris, Ph. D. &

Categories: Awareness, Embarrassment, Emotions, Experience, Fear, Leadership, Management

Secret to a Happy Valentine Day

Posted on February 4, 2015 at 6:54 PM

Write your post here.

Categories: Couples, Emotions, Fear, Feelings, Love, Perfect Mate, Personal Coaching, Valentine's Day


Posted on October 9, 2013 at 7:01 PM






Research shows that as much as 80% of what we

fear never happens. Yet, we allow our lives to be

deeply affected because of the scary stories we

tell ourselves. Fear, not desire or passion, is the

strongest emotional motivator we have. This

means that when we have a choice to do what we want,

which frightens us vs. to do what we know and is

safe, we will opt for safety letting fear win out.

Whether we are experiencing mild anxiety or

terror, fear‐based emotions cause us to behave in

ways that ensure our physical and psychological

survival. We accept our physical fears much more

easily than we do our psychological ones because

we are taught that our fears make us weak.

Categories: Fear

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